hi, i got covid a few days ago and i am In Pain so here’s filler (it’s almost been 2 months since my last news post???? since when?????)

first off, here are some pinterest sketches i did around a week ago (please ignore the graphite smears everywhere, i can’t remember what happened bc i drew these right before i got sick lmao):

here’s some more i have saved in my photo gallery (these are slightly older, but still rlly recent):

anyway, the rest of this news post is just gonna be me rambling lmao

me rambling lmao

seriously tho, i’ve been spending the last few days getting into new stuff instead of actually trying to get myself to draw,,, although, to be fair, i’m on a short break from drawing bc i’m sick and i’m trying to recover from art block (yes thr art block hit again rip. i can’t find motivation to draw). and plus, now i have a bunch of new fandoms to make art about, so i’m not just drawing the same cookie run/fnf/omori characters all the time lmao

if anyone’s curious: i recently got into chainsaw man, team fortress 2, just shapes and beats, the owl house, epithet erased, and kinda arcane league of legends

although i already miss drawing. it feels weird not drawing, which sounds silly since i barely ever draw anything at this point. idk, i guess it feels more “solidified” since i’m on a break now?

anyway, just wanted to let you know i’m alive and ok 👍 happy early valentine’s day! i planned on drawing cute ship art this year but that kinda fell down the drain for obvious reasons,,, maybe i can make a tiny little doodle or something?

ive been seeing a lot of artists i follow do this recently, so i thought i’d give it a shot as well

this was honestly one of the worst years of my life, but it did have some positive highlights that i want to share with you all!!!!

joining newgrounds

i joined this site on march 25th of this year, since the old art site i was using (buzzly) went down in flames bc one of its owners was outed as a pedophile. as a minor, i don’t want to associate with those kinds of people, and there was no way i was going to go back to deviantart (which was a good call).

at first i tried artstation, but then i realized it wasn’t for me bc i just found it overwhelming, and it was targeted towards adults looking for jobs and not teenagers wanting to share their self-indulgent fanart lmao. once again, that was also a good call.

in february 2021, i got into friday night funkin’ through me and my younger brother messing around on funky friday and getting curious about the source material. because of that, i was already somewhat familiar with newgrounds, but i had only heard about it being toxic, so i never researched further. until i saw somebody on a different site (toyhouse) recommend it to people and describe it in an overwhelmingly positive light, so i decided to take a look.

i lurked on this site for roughly a week before making the decision to leave buzzly for it, and it was honestly the best decision i could’ve made. it isn’t a toxic hellhole full of neckbeards like i had believed it to be. this site has strengthened my love for art and i couldn’t have found a better place to be :)

improving my art

the art portal and art forum inspired me to start putting effort into improving my art and studying art in general. because of that, i’ve made so much progress that i wouldn’t have been able to make without newgrounds. for example, here’s my 2022 art summary that i’ve already shown in my previous news post:

ive improved more on my art than i have in any other year!!! thank you to everyone who’s helped me, followed me, and/or given me constructive criticism on my art. i love and appreciate every single one of you <3

i would thank individual people, but i want to save that for my 1-year anniversary on this site in march. so instead, i’m going to thank everyone as a whole, who’s supported me in any form this year, no matter how big or small. you guys motivate me to continue drawing ❤️

i’ll probably edit this later and add more. but for now, this is all i’ve got. i hope 2023 will be much better than this year!!!! merry christmas, happy holidays, and happy new year <3

ive been really excited to do this years art summary template thing, because i feel like ive improved a ton this year, since i started actually trying to study art and actively get better, which paid off so much!!!!

(template by electricmorningstar on deviantart)

going through my old art for this was a ride lol

thank you to everyone who’s supported me & helped me improve thus far!!!! i love and appreciate every single one of you <3 im very excited to see how much i’ll improve next year!!!!

if you’ve been reading my news posts (ty to anyone who possibly does), you already know that ive been in a killer art block since march of this year, and it still hasn’t slowed down. it stemmed from a fear of failure (since i only started learning how to draw people a year ago), and an issue where i couldn’t figure out what to draw. it’s almost been a year and i still haven’t solved either of these issues

for roughly 9 months now, i’ve been beating myself up over not knowing what to draw or making something that looked bad or how “i’ll never be as good as this person”, and it’s taken a huge toll on my mental health

so i’ve decided that what i really need is a break. i’m burnt out and i’m overthinking art to the point where it’s not fun anymore

i haven’t drawn anything in weeks, and while it kinda hurts (it feels like something really important is missing, because art is so near and dear to my heart that i can’t imagine a future where i don’t make it), i am feeling a bit better. i’m hoping to return to art by december/january

plus im just losing interest in art in general (i’ve been focusing more on writing lately)

i originally wasn’t planning to make a news post at all about this, but i just wanted to get this all off of my chest. i’m a fanartist because i enjoy drawing my favorite characters, and i’m just not into making my own characters (it’s not fun for me anymore), and i thought that was what was holding me back, because i’m stuck drawing the same characters over and over again. so i tried forcing myself to write & design ocs just so i could draw them, but it just wasn’t fun and it reflected in how they barely even got finished. so because of that, i was stuck in a rut where i felt like i couldn’t draw anything, so i just stopped

so i stopped for a while and became rusty, and then when i tried to come back to drawing, everything turned out stiff and disproportionate and it really discouraged me. so i didn’t draw out of fear of making something even worse, and it just made the whole problem worse

i’m aware that i’m making the problem worse by taking a break (and therefore not drawing), but i’m thinking that a break is what i really need considering i’m overthinking this so badly

so basically, tl;dr: art sucks rn and i need a break. i’ll probably be back in december/january, it depends on when i get back into art. i’m not quitting nor am i leaving newgrounds, i’m not going anywhere for a while :D

i haven’t finished anything worth putting on the art portal recently, but i do have some sketches to show :D

me and my younger brother recently bought sonic frontiers, and we’re loving it so far. on thursday, i drew my brother while watching him play it because i can’t focus without multitasking rip

(some expression practices i did also got into the frame. the expressions in the song “dissension” from the friday night funkin lullaby mod were gold [pun intended] and i wanted to see if i could replicate them from memory)

the same day, i also drew a stuffed bear my mom made for my brother, because i thought it looked funny

i also drew the nurse girl from spooky month, soon after spooky month 5 came out. i forget her name, but she’s cool

and now for some digital sketches that i did yesterday!! here’s my favorite traumaboy (aka basil from omori. i was watching a therapist play omori for the first time, and i wanted to practice drawing him & scared expressions)

here’s a bonus kel too, since his birthday was last week and i forgot to make anything for it ;; and i wanted to practice stylizing his hair (based off of someone else’s take)

(he looks so braindead, which i love)

and here’s another thing i want to add for constructive criticism purposes. i drew these hands/arms while looking at my own for reference, and im wondering if anybody has tips to improve on them? ty :D

anyway, that’s all, im gonna go sink deeper into my omori brainrot now

i know i just made a blog post yesterday but 50 FANS!!!! that’s half-way to 100 (which is terrifying lmao)

thank you so much to everyone who’s supported me thus far!!!! i love you all, no homo/hetero <3

you guys motivate me to continue art, even when im not feeling it

take this as your reminder to take care of yourself, drink water, take breaks when you need them!!!

fun fact, this is actually the second time this character has appeared on my newgrounds account (the first time was in my very first blog), which is surprising considering she’s my mascot. she has a human design that im planning on tweaking a bit

lately all my art has been turning out all weird and stiff. it’s been almost a month since i actually finished anything, so i think i’m just rusty. i’m gonna try to wait it out by doing studies (especially since i need to practice more), which i’ll most likely post here so keep your eye out

another thing that i wanted to talk about: i don’t think my art is going in the direction i want it to. it’s starting to feel more anime-esque than i’d like, which is weird since i don’t watch anime. don’t get me wrong, i don’t have an issue with anime (or with the anime art style either; i actually enjoy a lot of anime-esque art styles), it’s just not the style i’m going for.

i noticed that a lot of the resemblance was coming from how i draw eyes, so i’ve been trying a new eye style. i drew this a few days ago, adjusting a technique from a tutorial video i had watched:

i’m also wanting to get more experimental with my style (as if i’m not already so experimental that i switch styles every month, lmao), since i’m not happy with where it is right now. i feel like i’m stuck drawing the same characters, with the same smiling-neutral expressions, in the same single-color void, which i want to fix. but at the same time, i’m not entirely sure what i want my art to look like. but i’m still trying to climb out of an art block that lasted around 9 months, so i’m also planning on just sticking to smaller projects atm until i’m ready to do bigger ones again. but at the same time, i have no idea what those smaller projects should be, since i’m so used to doing big projects

so idk. that was one big paragraph. i’m still trying to kick art block’s ass. i didn’t get to do a halloween drawing for this year like i had wanted, but oh well. there’s always next year, and i can do spooky stuff whenever i like. im still gonna try to do an autumn-themed drawing though, because it’s my favorite season

anyway, ramble over. i hope whoever may be reading this has a good day/evening/night/whatever time it is for you when you’re reading this

finally out of the owed-art-hell i always get trapped in in october!!! and im currently trying to beat art block’s ass, since ive been in it for almost 9 months now and im done with not being able to draw anything

i think the reason why it’s lasted so long is because my mental health has been going up and down like a rollercoaster since like, august. im feeling a bit better but it took an all-time low recently which im still trying to crawl out of

also, this actually is my first T-rated blog. i rated it T just in case because of the discussion of mental health here

anyway. to end this off, i recently got a new sketchbook for my birthday, so i thought i’d share a few drawings i made in there, mainly because im usually really embarrassed whenever other people see them (because they’re lower-effort than my usual drawings), but i want to try to get over that fear

^ henry higgins. he’s a flamingo that my younger brother drew, and we named him as a joke but it stuck

^ my younger brother was playing friday night bloxxin, and he asked me to draw his axolotl avatar with the animation he was using (it gave him really cool red wings). pretty sure this is actually the first full-body drawing im sharing to the internet, oh god

grumpy kitty. he is not happy. i like doodling cats as a stress reliever

anyway, that’s all i think. i hope whoever might be reading this has a good day/evening/night/whatever time it is when you’re reading this

and also my birth month.

and also my younger brother’s birth month.

and it’s also the birth month of one of my best friends.

in summary, since im preparing for 2 entirely different birthdays (not including my own), im going to be VERY busy this october,,,

ill try to save some time to make some spooky art tho, for the occasion. i also wanna lean HARD into the autumn/winter aesthetic this year, so look out for that :)

so i ended up not being able to finish my madness day drawing in time, for a whole bunch of different reasons that would take forever to explain lmao

im in a bit of an art funk rn so in the meantime, here’s a little thing i did

i saw an art meme where you share one drawing you did from 2020, and one from 2022, to see how much you’ve improved

im very proud of how far ive come :D i might redraw some of my old art